Saturday, 29 May 2010

Chucking the Fags away!

Ya its Day 2 on my mission to give up smoking...and boy can I tell you it's a ride and a half! I started the transition to give up on Thursday last week, I started taking Zyban and it was helping me cut down on the amount of smokes I was having each day, and it was making them taste darn right awful. But the big moment was after day 7 I had to not even smoke one....I was going great guns. I got up early and hit the gym for an hour or so, then I came home to do house work and all was well. But it all feel apart when I made Lance and myself a coffee in the afternoon when he came home. I couldn't believe the feeling that came over me. I was finding it hard to breath, my chest was hurting, my heart was racing. I was going into panic mode...all because at that moment it hit me...I would normally have a smoke then and have a chat with Lance to catch up on our day.... and I couldn't!!! OH my I didn't realise how shocking was my habit of smoking until that moment, I could believe how much the had control of me.
I went through the motions and rode the wave of panic that came over me. I keep telling myself "I'm doing the right thing"....."I need to do this not just from me, but for your family too". For almost and hour I was feeling like the my world was crumbling in. It left me feeling drained and worried that what was happening to me, would happen every day during my giving up efforts. I just want the day to end..so come 9pm I was in bed hoping that in the morning I would wake feeling better. Well its the next day and I'm feeling better. I still feel the urge to smoke but I know now that I can do this and I will do this....I'M A NON SMOKER!!

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