Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Never Forgotten.

Yep that’s right blog world...I have not forgotten you. I've just been to busy to be with you.

But I suppose now is a good time to catch up since I’m lying in bed with a dam flu…ggrrr

There is so much to catch up on and where do I start...um

Well I’m not sure if I had the chance to mention that I was diagnosed with Depression a few months back. Let’s say that was an interesting part to life that I wish never to fall into again. I found that I completely lost myself. I was such a difficult thing to go through for both myself and my family. It seemed that while I was suffering I was making everyone else suffer too. The last straw that broke the camels back was me being very angry all the time. And then making matter worse I smashed a window with my bear hand. Now looking back, I couldn’t believe I put my family and friends though that. But thanks to medication and seeing a therapist I am feeling my normal self again. Everything looks so much brighter, and if possible it brighter then before.

I think a great thing that help me with my recover of depression was scrapping, and not just the drugs...LOL I did a Secret Keeper 12x12 layout about what I was going through.





12x12 Secret Keep

Finding Me


The Journaling reads:

Just recently I have been diagnosed with Depression

And after living with hell within myself,

I have realised how depressed I truly was.

The pain from losing my brother to a tragic accident,

Still weighed so very heavy on my heart and my mind.

The job situation on Lance’s front was looking grim too

And this seemed to play heavy on my mind and made me worry,

Wondering when the next pay cheque would come in.

And the scarcest of feelings was I didn’t like the fact that, I was

A mother. I found myself feeling very selfish for more me time,

I also found myself angry all the time and it showed itself

Within my actions and temper.

Now with the help of medication and seeing a psychologist,

I have learned to manage my fears, anger, and panic. I never realised

How sad I was. I knew within me that I wasn’t the normal happy go lucky

Person I usually am. Dealing with depression has taught me to relax and to take a

Step back. Not everything will crumble around me. It’s taught me to be proud of

My healthy and happy relationship with my husband and children

It has also taught me to smile again.


Sunday, 15 March 2009

MIA

Yep that right I've been Missing In Action again....

I have become a lounge lizard and a facebook addict....there I've said it!! it out there for all to read!!

I haven't really scrapped anything for ages, I've made a few cards here and there...but all my mojo is gone....I haven't even sat in the study until now! I know.... sad hey!!!!
I have started a layout this afternoon, but I've gotten so far and then nothing....god I want to scrap but every time I sit, I just cant....what the hell is wrong with me. I know that some of my problems are that I'm over thinking it. I should just relax and let it all come flooding back to me.... but no.....its not and its doing my head in........HELP!!!!!
I need scrapping therapy, I think it time to book myself into a couple of classes at work!
Talking about work the only classes I'm doing, is my beginners class on a Saturday and I feel so bad that I'm not teaching more, I feel like I'm letting the girls down at work.....my gosh I have to get my shit together! I'm throwing away this great opportunity for me to help other learn this amazing craft and for me to show off my work. Someone help me!! I've spent a fortune on this hobbie and I just cant give it up because of the moods I've been in and because of my poor time managment. Hubby would kill me if I just keep buying stuff and not using it!....he'll want the study back....LOL

There are a few things that has happened with my spare time that I have cherished, and thats we have done alot of family outings. We went away with the kids and it was the first time the kids have stayed away at a hotel, they loved it of course and Lance and I loved it because they did. We have done a few big day trips with the kids and taken them to see a few of the wonderful sites that Tasmania has to offer. The kids are loving it and I value every moment we have to share this with our childern. Now that the kids are that much older we want to show them this beautiful state we live in, just like my parents showed me, they need to learn that there is more things to life then there backyard, playstation and the computer!

If I had time this evening I would post photos from our outing but alas I have to get my butt of this computer and back into my scrapping, before I give up and go sit on the lounge!

I'll keep you posted once I finally scrap a layout to share ;)

signing out for now but not forever!!

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

First Layout For 2009

Here is the first layout I did for 2009.

I really have been itching to scrap this photo of all of us...it was taken on one of our family outings. It such a great feeling when you scrap such happy memories!



After scrapping this layout I decided to make a couple of cards, this is a great way of using up your scraps of pattern paper.

Sunday, 4 January 2009

New layouts....... New Style

Before my injury I scrapped some new layouts.

As I was scrapping these, I thought I would change my style...well sort of change it any way. I was going for simple is better look...but I found it so hard not to keep adding more...

Here are some of my layouts I did last year.













Saturday, 3 January 2009

mmm Yes I have Been Neglecting You Blog!!

Alright I have a confession to make....I've been neglecting my poor old blog. I'm sorry blog for leaving you in the cold world of cyber space....I can confess that I have become a bit of Facebook "Junkie" and thats why you have been pushed to the side.
But no more will this happen...I need you blog...I need to put my thoughts down, I want to share my feeling and my emotions, I want to share those special moment in mine and my families life. Plus all the work I create with this crazy and expensive hobby of mine.

Gosh my last post was such a long time ago that its hard to look back and reflect on last year. My life last year was a chaotic mess, with many ups and downs. I thought at one stage there I was losing my marble, trying to be happy all the time when so many things just brought me down....but hey I pulled through those times and its a new year!! YA 2008 is over bring on 2009....two years of heart ache, sadness and unsettling times must be over. I know that life cant be easy going all the time. But all I'm asking is for a break!! PLEASE

For an update on last year brings me to tears, but I think I can do it...I will go through the tough times again in my mind and then bring myself back to the happier moment to finish this entry off...so here I go.

As from the last post from last year, it was the anniversary of my brother Christopher, death..even though time has passed it still hurts so much. I miss him every day and tear swell in my eyes when the thought of him comes into my mind. I find it also hard to say that the man that killed my brother walked away from this with out paying for the crime he committed....I don't understand any of this at all...all I wish for is karma, and that every time I break into tear over my brother...that in his mind he remembers that he took someones life.

My closest and dearest friend, marriage broke up and this rocked my world. Her and her partner had been married about the same time as Lance and myself, and we both have children of the same ages. It put the world of fear into me and I went though a stage of doubt about Lances commitment to both me and our relationship and this made Lance and I argue all time and say things that upset both of us. I felt so insecure and worried that if what was happening to them, could happen to us. But now I know that I should not judge Lance on other people behavior and that mine and Lance relationship is strong and full of love and commitment...we are best friends as well as husband and wife, and work harder on our communication skills and our emotions towards each other. Lance is my soul mate and we are life long partners and together we are stronger then any obstacle put in front of us!

I injured myself last year by crushing two disk in my neck and was trouble with the fact that I might of had to have neck surgery....the thought of that still scares me...but after many scans and many appointment with doctors and a Nero surgeon, I have been given the all clear. The only good side to injuring my neck was I got to spend time with my family, because all I could do was lounge around the house and take pain killers. I missed my scrapping though, I was tortured with the fact that I couldn't even do the one thing that gives me my time out. So that mean another down side of the year. I couldn't teach scrapping...I was missing that interaction with the girls from Scrappers Heaven, and I was missing my scrapping sessions with my friends too. I do have a happy note to this though before I injured my neck. I got three off to have my worked published, that had made before hurting myself, two are still pending on the decision of the editor with one magazine. The other should be published in March this year in Scrapbook Creations. This is the first time I've been published with this magazine and I'm so looking forward to seeing my art work in there.

Another major bomb shell for us this year was that Lance lost his job in November..It was scary the thought of losing our house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. It was hard for Lance to tell me that he didn't have a job anymore because the business he worked for went into administration. The kids were worried about Christmas even though this year I had been super mum and organised Christmas way before any of this happened...Fear had made the Cornish house a not so happy house. I went into penny pinching mode straight way...working out ways to pay the bills and still live if Lance had to go on unemployment payments. I was even gearing up the fact that I might of had to step into the work place. But someone was looking over us during this period. Because Lance lost his job on a Friday, Friday night he came home and applied for jobs that night. Got a phone call on the Monday for a interview for a job...he had the interview on the Tuesday and started a new job on Wednesday. I was so proud of Lance. So the panic stations went down and we could go back to enjoying a normal life of paying the bills and mortgage. And getting ourselves ready for the festive season.

Now for the Festive seasons the only down side to this is that Dad didn't want to spend Christmas with us. I was hoping that we would all get together, since we all don't normally get see each other all the time. I thought it would be nice to see Mum and Dad together at the same time. But Dad had been on a roller coaster of emotions since the verdict of Christoper murder case, and I think that is why Dad could not do Christmas day with us. It disappointed me and I think that the kids were a little disappointed too, they were looking forward to us all being together as a family like last year. But even with that dampener of Dad not being with us, the rest of us made the day an enjoyable event with plenty of memories to be share.

Well there you go, a run down of the "ups and downs" since my last blog entry...wow
I'm glad that over.

Good Bye 2008

Hello 2009

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