Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of my brother's Death, and I already feel like running away and hiding. My emotions tonight have been high and low.
I talked to my mother tonight about what the plan is for tomorrow and I passed on my feelings about it all. I don't want a big gathering, I don't think that we should make a big hohar about it. I think that doing that is not remember him, its just creating another wake and bring back more sadness and painful memories for us..or should I say me!!! Mum has put in the newspaper a bereavement notice on behalf of us all, and I feel as though we should use tomorrow to reflect quietly about what has happen and remember Chris in our own special way. Christopher birthday is next week and I suggested that we did something special that day. I believe that doing something that day means that we are celebrating his life and not his death. I want to remember Christopher for the life that he had and for all the good times we spent with each other and specially the one of us growing up under the same roof! I don't want to remember why he was taken from us and how, it seem to cruel and wrong. I want to celerbrate his life with a beer and lots of laughter about the good time. If Chris was here he would do the same thing! I know it
I love you Chris and I will always...Your big sister xxx