Saturday, 15 September 2007

Normality is the key

I have been finding that normality is the key right now I need for the healing process to start.

When I'm sitting around doing nothing it makes my mind wonder, then I have those questions again like why and is this all real.
I feel this hole in my heart right now and it makes it ache and then the tears fill my eyes. The lost of a brother seems so hard and it nothing I have ever felt before and wish never to feel this again. A link in our family has been taken away and I can feel it missing very day.
I was reading something the other day about grieving and it said that there are normally seven stages to grieving and I think I have been through them all and some of them seem to creep back in at time. I know that these feeling will be here for a while, and that is why I have made a conscious effort to get some normality back into my life. I sometimes wonder is it to soon, should I still be mourning the death of my brother. But as I said before in my last post that life still has to go on and if that means getting on with the normal things in life, then that is what I have to do.

I have just had the kids off on their first week of school holidays and I've noticed that having them home has brightened my day and they have made my mind more active in a positive way.
Before losing Chris the kids and I had organised a trip to go up north to meet up with Alli, Marion and Tracey and stay at Marion's place for a couple of nights. I was going to cancel it feeling the way I have been feeling. But luckily enough the girls said to still come and spend time away and have fun. Lance and I decided that we should still go and enjoy there company and plus it is a great way for me to spend more time with my wonderful children. So on Monday morning the kids and I will be leaving here at 8 o clock in the morning and we will be heading north.
So watch out girls the Cornish Tribe is on its way....LOL


Monica said...

Enjoy your trip visiting Alli and other friends! It will be a much needed time away. I am so glad to hear that you are having a good week. I know that being able to express your feelings is so important, it is one of the best ways to go through the grieving process. Talk, talk, talk!!!
Hope to see you back on soo! We miss you!

Tracey said...

Well I loved meeting you .. Hope you had fun!

Anonymous said...

hey there chook its me im sooo glad you decided to come it was great to see you again lol alli xxx

Merriyank said...

Kylie I'm so glad you decided to go visit with the girls. Normality is the key to healing and don't ever question whether you are doing the healing the right way. The right way for you is your way and that's not for anyone else to judge or to decide for you. Each day will get easier and although the link will always be missing, the good memories will live forever.

Stay strong girl. You are doing just fine!

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