I seemed to have a good day today, life went on as normal and things rolled along nicely today!
Since the lost of my brother I have been finding it hard to get my head wrapped around getting on with life. At time I have this guilty feeling in my stomach and it makes me wonder if I should be doing what I am doing. But I know that if my brother was here with me he would say "stop being stupid and get on with the things your have to do".
After putting the photo tribute on here I had a really bad night and sat in bed crying and crying. I couldn't wrap my head around what had happen to him and also that he was gone......The big question is WHY all the time. I know that no one can answer it for me and that I should cherish every moment we had together and never forget what a great life he had and how much he love me and my children.
The fears that I have at this moment is that I will forget how he sounds......I had only talked to him on the phone a month ago and he sounded so great, and he told me that he was doing so well in Perth. The thought that I cant talk to him anymore scares me!
I know keep a journal and I write to Chris every night, just telling him of our day and the feeling I have inside for him. I feel as though I need to do this for myself and for Chris so that he know that I wont forget him and that I will love him like a big sister always.
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